Commands (Discord)

The following is a guide to River's Discord commands (for IRC, see here). There are others, and more will be added below as these get documented. Custom responses are available for when River says hi, goodbye and goodnight.

Note: You can use full stops instead of commas. Also remember that some commands have timeouts, if River doesn't reply to a command you recently issued, please wait a minute and try again.

My website recently underwent a successful hacking attempt and I'm having to rebuild. This will be back in full soon!

Help and Greetings

Discord
,helpRiver: help,commands,doc

See who River is and get a link to this website.

Discord
@River

Get River to say your name!

Discord IRC
(hi|hello|hey|morning|afternoon|evening) River

Say hi to River.

Discord IRC
(bye|goodbye|cya) River

Say goodbye to River.

Discord IRC
(night|goodnight) River

Say goodnight to River.

Discord IRC
(thanks|thank you|cheers) River

Say thanks to River.

Discord IRC
(i love you|love you|you are awesome|you're awesome) River

Say you love River!

Discord
hail River

Hail River!

Discord IRC
(wb|welcome back) River

Welcome back River!

Discord IRC
River o/

Wave at River

Conversation, Messages and Reminders

Discord IRC
,in <time> <msg>

displays a msg after the given time has elapsed.

Discord IRC
,at <time> <msg>

displays a msg at the given time.

Discord IRC
,ask

ask River a yes or no question, and she'll respond randomly with yes or no. Also if you give her a list of items separated by 'or' she'll randomly choose one of them.

Discord IRC
,tlhob

same as the Ask command but in Klingon; River will respond with HIja' or ghobe'.

Actions

Discord
,bap <nick>,bap <@mention>

River will bap nick

Discord
,chill <nick>,chill <@mention>

River will provide a soothing message or action to nick

Discord
,dance <nick>,dance <@mention>

River will dance with nick

Discord
,glitter <nick>,glitter <@mention>,glitterbomb <nick>,glitterbomb <@mention>

River will glitterbomb nick

Discord
,heal <nick>,heal <@mention>,rez <nick>,rez <@mention>

River will heal nick

Discord
,hug <nick>,hug <@mention>

River will hug nick

Discord
,huggle <nick>,huggle <@mention>

River will poke huggle

Discord
,kiss <nick>,kiss <@mention>

River will kiss nick

Discord
,nom <nick>,nom <@mention>

River will nom nick

Discord
,poke <nick>,poke <@mention>

River will poke nick

Discord
,snow <nick>,snow <@mention>

River will throw a snowball at nick

Discord
,snuggle <nick>,snuggle <@mention>

River will poke snuggle

Discord
,assassinate <nick>,assassinate <@mention>,bump <@mention>,bump <@mention>

River will assassinate nick... but will she?

Discord
,kill <nick>,kill <@mention>,slaughter <nick>,slaughter <@mention>,massacre <nick>,massacre <@mention>

River will kill nick... but will she?

Discord
,shoot <nick>,shoot <@mention>

River will shoot nick... but will she?

Discord
,slap <nick>,slap <@mention>

River will slap nick... but will she?

Discord
,stab <nick>,stab <@mention>

River will stab nick... but will she?

Discord
,throttle <nick>,throttle <@mention>

River will throttle nick... but will she?

Discord
,throw <nick>,throw <@mention>

River will throw nick... but will she?

Discord IRC
,farm

a random farm animal noise

Discord IRC
,baa,sheep

a sheep noise

Discord IRC
,cluck,chicken

a chicken noise

Discord IRC
,cock

a cockerel noise

Discord IRC
,glub,fish

a fish noise

Discord IRC
,moo,cow

a cow noise

Discord IRC
,meow,cat

a cat noise

Discord IRC
,oink,pig

a pig noise

Discord IRC
,woof,dog

a dog noise

Discord IRC
,ow

ow!

Games

Discord IRC
,cah

Start a game of Cards Against Humanity with River. Click above to see more.

Discord IRC
,poker

Start a game of Texas HoldEm Poker with River. Click above to see more.

Time, Location and Weather

Discord IRC
,beats

get the current Internet time in Swatch beats.

Discord IRC
,t,t <timezone>

get the current time in GMT or in the provided timezone.

Discord IRC
,tock

return the time from the USNO Master Clock.

Discord IRC
,countdown <yr> <mth> <day>,cd <yr> <mth> <day>

displays length of time until or since date specified. Use full format in arguments, e.g. 2013 07 22

Discord IRC
,easter <year>

displays the date for Easter for a given year.

Discord IRC
,nws <zip/county>,nws-more <zip/county>

query NOAA for warnings, watches or advisories for a given US ZIP code or US county, state pair.

Discord
,weather <city, country>,open_weather <city, country>,opw <city, country>

country is optional; displays weather information from Open Weather of the selected city.

Discord IRC
,windchill <temp> <wind speed>,wc <temp> <wind speed>

shows Windchill in F.

Discord IRC
,advent

show the current day's advent calendar entry; only works in December!

Discord IRC
,advent <no>,advent<yr> <no>

show a previous day's advent calendar entry, replacing the number with the day you want to be replaced; years include 13, 14 and 15, and without a year offers 2016.